“It was just one of those girly little fights we have my precious little sparkles my little fudgy wudgy bunnikins so drop the gun my little sparkles dear cos i know it isn’t loaded and i hate to break it to ya honey child but this one is.”
Life Kills follows the dark journey and twisted mind ravines of a mysterious unnamed terrorist as he goes about his business. On his flight, stewards Bubbles and Sparkles, pilots Brad and Chad, and a bunch of burnt out z-list hackster celebrities face their own particular brands of demons. Our terrorist antihero faces terrible choices along the way, torn between burning passion and mindless passivity; and throughout, the Inflight Infotainment system lurks, ever present but becoming a more powerful and sinister force as the story unfolds. Life Kills is a unique work of dark and comedic avant-garde literary fiction, in the mode of Hunter S Thompson crossed with Kinky Friedman. In it, our protagonist is out to kill some noxious rockstars to prevent them from their pathetic talent-vacuumed futures. But it’s not as easy to hijack a plane as he might have thought… In short snapshots, Life Kills ridicules the many contradictions in the way people live their lives, with an authentic humour that belies the anger boiling beneath the surface. For hipsters, boomers, and anything in-between.
“Reading Life Kills is an unadulterated thrill. Vertigan’s prose is delicious: taut and precise; although not for everyone. Vertigan is obviously the master of the spoken word and one should read this novel with this in mind. Sentences can run into pages of words and could often stand in isolation to the overall plot. Life Kills is an original tirade against society. Reading this torrent of apprehension is breathtaking, fun and creates a damning portrait of our society. James Joyce: I reckon you have met your match”
“A decadently funny and unnervingly original exploration of a civilisation in decline.” – Helen Elliott
“Life Kills is social satire turned up to eleven, the bastard offspring of Ben Elton and This Is Serious Mum [TISM]. Vertigan takes his hypervitriolic milk-thru-the-nose wit in hand and runs full tilt at a darkly surreal yet convincing existential caricature of the follies of self-absorbed contemporary consumer society, skewering them neatly on his perfectly balanced page-long compound adjectival sentences to devastating, jaw-dropping, giggle-inducing, read-it-aloud-to-whoever-is-in-earshot effect.” – Adam Ford
“It pleases me to no end to see a local writer up there with the big guns of American fiction who are usually the ones responsible for this sort of manic prose. It’s like the cover for Pantera’s ‘Vulgar Display of Power’ record – being punched in the face, freeze-framed for eternal glory. I’m surprised that Sleepers, a small local publishing house, has picked this novel up but then again I’m not surprised whatsoever. They’ve really established themselves as a great house of quality writing over the past few years and this novel (novella?) only reaffirms this… One of the most sarcastic, horrifying and hilarious reads of recent times. For fans of Chuck Palahniuk and Bret Easton Ellis. Read it in one sitting for maximum effect – hell it’s short enough.”
– Nicholas Brodie, Castle Co-Op
“This is a funny, original novel that shakes its fist at everything.”
– Bookseller and Publisher
++ Buy the ebook version of Life Kills (see left)
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